If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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