we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
where am i from again
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
