tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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