Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
