haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
