It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
