God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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