D3 body, D1 cock
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
