Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Randomize
