woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
