My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Small penises have feelings too.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
