You just made me feel so damn special
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
