why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
