I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Randomize
