he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
