I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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