it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
