Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
