The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize
