My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
