No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
