check it out our google latitudes are spooning
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Randomize
