HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
