Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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