i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
Randomize
