I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
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