I murdered the dance floor call the cops
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
