hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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