i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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