she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Randomize
