And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
She's the barista slut.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
