i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
