the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
