Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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