i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
How does it feel to date your dad?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
