why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
well you can't waste a boner
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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