Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
