I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
