Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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