i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
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