What a fucking waste of an outfit
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You brought string cheese to the strip club
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
