We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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