Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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