I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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