Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
