Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Randomize
