i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
