I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
