Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
He felt like a one man threesome
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Sware then you fell into me doing a Tarzan swing thing and my margherita spilled and shattered all over this guy and sice you were on the ground you tried to pull it off by twerking on the floor lmfao
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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