somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
we're so committed to being not committed
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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