Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
In other news, I just burned my penis
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
