I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
