I think scott just propositioned me for sex
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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