my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize
